A boy scouts program so boy scouts can hurt or kill terrorists and immigrants

By Christopher | Published: May 26, 2009

I just read an article in the NY Times online about an explorer’s program for boy scouts in Southern California. It said that we could join them and they will teach us when and how to put on a gas mask correctly and how to shoot different guns. In the pictures it looked like there was at least a rifle, a pistol, and a shot gun. They are AirSoft guns so that means they are modified real guns that shoot plastic or rubber pellets and have 6mm of orange at the tip. I currently do not know how to shoot any guns so I thought about joining the program, except you would have to shoot at people and I don’t want to hurt or kill anyone. I started to wonder why other children wanted to hurt or kill people and all I saw was that one girl was attracted to the program because of the sound that the guns make and that they sound like real guns and that it gets her excited. But I also get excited by watching fireworks and going to a good movie and those don’t require hurting or killing other people, unless the firework exploded on the ground or a stunt went wrong in the movie, but those are called accidents and there aren’t any programs that teach people how to cause accidents.

Here the boy scouts learned to kill an immigrant in the Explorer's Program

Here the boy scouts learned to kill an immigrant in the Explorer's Program

I was a little confused why so many children would want to learn how to hurt or kill people. There was also a quote by a police officer that we should forget the injured and the dead. None of this really makes sense to me, even though we should listen to adults because they are wiser than children. But my parents said that sometimes some of my school teachers are wrong, so maybe the police officers are wrong about this stuff. I emailed one of the police officers because I was confused. This is what I wrote to him:

Dear Officer Dave Holetz,

I’m writing an essay for school on topics in the news and had some questions.

I just saw some pictures in the New York Times about the explorers program training children to battle terrorists and illegal immigrants. I think you were quoted with saying,

“Forget the injured, forget the dead,” Mr. Holletz advised the Explorers. “Accomplish your mission: terminate the shooter.”

I wonder how children can forget the injured and dead and just go on to make more people dead, as if that is the solution. I don’t really know too many people who have died, except my Aunt recently, so maybe I don’t understand. But when I think about my Aunt who died, I don’t want more people to die. I know that she didn’t get shot at or knifed like maybe the people that the explorers are supposed to kill, but at the same time it doesn’t make sense to me that we should forget about who was injured or died. It was kind of sad when my Aunt died for me, and really sad for mother. And I don’t want anyone to have to feel that sadness again. But that is the mission you send these children on, children like myself. Why do the children feel this way, like they have to kill people? I read that Cathy Noriega was attracted to the use of the guns and the noise that they make. Is this the reason?

Thank you very much for your time,
-Christopher M.

Then a couple days later he wrote me back. I don’t think he really answered my question as to why children wanted to be in this program. But because I am part of the general public (I think), he said that the boy scouts do things that I wouldn’t understand.

Christopher,

This is Agent D. Holetz, I believe I was misquoted or misunderstood as to what you might have read in the paper. During the Explorer Competition we hold annually in the Imperial Valley. The scenario that I was in charge of putting together was the ACTIVE SHOOTER scenario. This scenario is to simulate an individual(s) such as the columbine shooting. We as law enforcement learned from that, in that we need to respond to a situation like that quicker to save life’s.

It is not that we are to forget the dead or injured, we as first responders have to reach the shooter(s) as quick as possible and stop the threat so that more innocent individuals will not be hurt or killed.Yes I do teach my explorers that as a first responder to an ACTIVE SHOOTER it is a hard thing to do, but you must bypass a downed officer(s), downed civillian(s) and go directly to the shooter, and stop them from injuring or killing anyone else.

Agencies throughout the country train their officers the same way, I’m a little disturbed myself as being in the lifesaving and law enforcement business for approximately 15 years, that I was misquoted or misunderstood as saying that I am teaching young and up in coming kids that they are to forget the dead. THAT JUST IS NOT TRUE. We as law enforcement do things that the general public doesen’t understand. If you have any further questions or comments please fell free to contact me.

Thank You
Agent D. Holetz #904
Brawley Police Department

It was nice of Officer Dave Holetz to write back to me, even though he probably got a lot of emails since he was in the NY Times. I still don’t know whether I should listen to him even though he is an adult and they are wiser, but I still don’t want to hurt or kill people (even if Officer Dave Holetz told me to).

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Real Life Pirates are probably lonely and scared

By Christopher | Published: May 6, 2009

Pirates look really cool in the movies, but I think Real Life Pirates are probably lonely and misunderstood, like teenagers supposedly are. Maybe that is how all the Real Life Pirates started out, as teenagers, and then they became misunderstood and looked for ways to express their feelings and started carving ladders and welding grappling hooks, like how sad artists paint paintings and lonely writers write novels. Maybe right after they climb up their ladders, or pull themselves over the side with rope, right when they set foot on the foreign deck, maybe then they try to explain their life stories to the sailors, to someone new who comes from a different way of life and might be able to share sympathy. But of course the pirates are speaking in a different language and the sailors get really frightened and start shooting and yelling, and the pirates have to duck behind crates and there are smoke and explosions. This is probably the part you would see in movies, the part after the pirates try to explain themselves and the sailors run around with guns and scared faces.

This is what it probably what it really looks like when pirates come aboard. New pirates are probably real scared.

This is what it probably what it really looks like when pirates come aboard. New pirates are probably real scared.

I  guess Real Life Pirates have pretty bad lives because they do not live in a country where there are laws and police and courts. Also there are probably not any supermarkets to get fresh produce like lettuce or apples because if there was one, people would come and take all the lettuce and apples and no one would stop them because there are no laws or police or courts, and they could just hide in a basement with them and people would forget about whoever it was that stole the lettuce and apples, because someone else would be taking carrots and tomatoes down the street at a different supermarket. Without fresh produce and vegetables, it is probably really hard to have a baby and raise the baby into a child and raise the child into an adult. The whole time they would be like, “Mommy, I’m hungry. Why don’t we have any apples or carrots or tomatoes to eat?” which could be really sad for the mother and also probably annoying because children can get annoying. Then because it is so hard to raise babies and children, a lot of people probably don’t have any. And because there aren’t a lot of babies and children, there are probably not a lot of people after this happens for 20 years, which is how long the pirate country has not had laws or police or courts. Without all these people in existence, walking around and talking in pirate country, Real Life Pirates would get lonely.

A pirate that stole lettuce and apples and is waiting for people to forget that he stole lettuce and apples.

Lonely pirates would seek excitement and companions. This is probably why they take up pirating and go around on the high seas with ladders and grappling hooks that they made. I bet the pirates who have the coolest ladders are probably the most popular and have a lot of friends. Then someone shows up with a pointy grappling hook and they’re all like, “Wow, nice grappling hook!” and they learn to make grappling hooks. Also this would explain why pirates have parrots, because pirates’ parrots are like kittens to older ladies who live by themselves. I’m not sure if Real Life Pirates have parrots though, because in any pictures of Real Life Pirates, like when they got captured, I have not seen any parrots. I bet when Real Life Pirates get captured they whisper to their parrot to fly away, and it’s probably really emotional for the pirate and the parrot.

Pirates sit around and wait for ships to drive by. It might get boring waiting for ships to go by, which probably doesn’t help the pirates’ loneliness, being out in the middle of the ocean and surrounded only by water. But at least they have pirate friends. Then when they finally see a little dot on the horizon (a ship coming by) they get really excited and anxious. It’s probably really intense right at that moment, when they aren’t sure if the sailors on the ship will understand them and communicate with them. Then when the ship finally gets close they throw their ladders and grappling hooks at the ship. When they’re climbing up the sailors probably start freaking out and start shooting, and then the pirates start freaking out and start shooting. I bet it’s real scary right at that moment, but maybe it is better than loneliness?

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Getting sick is not so scary

By Christopher | Published: May 4, 2009

I keep hearing that a couple of people got sick from pigs, and now they’re going to kill all those pigs that got people sick, and then a bunch more pigs just to be sure. I don’t really think that it is the pigs’ faults though, because it is not like the pigs tried to get sick, and it is not like the pigs can really control their cells, which is what pigs are made of, on an individual level, which is probably where the sickness started. I think this pig-sickness is called Swine Flu, because pigs are swine, even though the word swine sounds like a type of special bird that would only be found in rainforests or somewhere hard to get to.

This is what happens on the cell level, where the pigs are not trying to get sick, but rather a cell got sick.

This is what happens on the cell level, where the pigs are not trying to get sick, but rather a cell got sick.

I also don’t understand what is so bad about being sick, especially when that means you can take a sick day from work and read a book or play on the computer. I know it doesn’t feel good to be sick, but does it feel good to go to work? Mother always complains that she has migraines, which are really really bad headaches that you can get when someone loses an important piece of paper, or when you calculate a number wrong, which means that you calculated another number wrong, which means that you could have subtracted a wrong number to get another wrong number, and then you do this all day until it’s time to leave and you realized you messed up at 9 a.m., which is when you arrived.

This is what people think the pigs did. But they did not plan it out at all. It is too bad the pigs could not get vaccinations.

But if you work at a waterslide and they let you go down it every now and then, or if you work as a gym teacher and you just have to play kickball all day, and you don’t want to get sick you can take what is called a vaccination shot. This is where they take the sick cells and put them inside of you to hang out with your normal cells. Then your normal cells see that there are bad cells and they try to beat them up. I guess there are a lot of different ways for normal cells to beat up bad cells, because after they learn how to beat them up, they’ll go around your body teaching all the other cells how to beat up the bad ones if any more bad ones ever visit like if you go to a pig petting zoo and one of the pigs sneezes on you. But then you might wonder why you don’t get sick when the doctors put the bad cells into you in the first place. This is because the doctors make the bad cells really weak to the point where they are almost dying and can’t put up a very good fight. Then it’s like an adult person fighting a baby lion just after it was born, which is not a nice thing to do. But cells don’t have nervous systems so they can’t feel pain, so it’s okay to hurt them and no one will tell you that you are being mean.

In summary, it seems like people are freaking out too much about Swine Flu. I think instead of worrying about having a runny nose or a cough, those who are infected should eat soup and watch a movie about how really bad it is to get sick, like 28 Days Later or Planet of The Apes or 12 Monkeys. Actually now that I think about it, all of those movies have monkeys in them. Maybe that is a sign we should look out for Mammel Flu.

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Goodbye cars, hello sunny days, hello robots

By Christopher | Published: April 30, 2009

It is in the news today that the Chrysler car company is going bankrupt.  It said that Chrysler is one of the Big Three, which sounds like a group of superheroes, but is not a group of superheroes because superheroes are strong and invincible, and Chrysler is going bankrupt which indicates weakness. The Big Three consists of Chrysler, GM (General Motors), and Ford and just means that they are very big companies with lots and lots of money, factories, and cars. But now it is sort of like one of the superheroes had a freak accident and got squished under a fallen building or something, or dodged a bullet but moved too slow, because now The Big Three will have to be called The Big Two (which sounds kind of strange).

Me riding a bike these days.

I’m not sad that one of the car companies had to go bankrupt. I guess there are hundreds and hundreds of Chrysler factories, and there are lot of people who worked in those factories, and then people who sold the cars at car stores, and then there are car mechanics who worked on the cars, and people drove the cars, and now the cars will no longer be around anymore. It sounds like a bad thing, all those people who can’t work at the car factory anymore or repair them, but maybe those people could work for a different company where they could build toys like bicycles or build robots. If you switched the car factory to a robot or bicycle factory, the builders working there might not even notice, except that instead of a car door they screwed to the car body, it would be a robot arm to a robot body. The workers would probably have just as much fun. And after all, most cars are bad things if you think about them. They use up a lot of resources to make them, and then once they are made, they make a lot of smoke and bad things that come out of them, and then when they are old and done, they just sit there taking up space and the big metals and chemicals won’t ever go away. If all the people who used to work at the car factory made bicycles and robots instead there would be a ton of bicycles and robots. People could just ride bikes all day, which don’t make any bad smoke or chemicals, and the robots could work all day. Since robots obviously don’t have feelings, they could do the boring work like add and subtract numbers in Microsfot Excel like father does sometimes, or make scrambled eggs  and toast like mother does. That way my father, mother and I could be out riding bikes to the museum, and because the museum security will be robots, the museum security could be riding bikes to the zoo, and because robots would be taking care of the animals, the zookeepers could be riding bikes to the beach, though the lifeguards would have to be humans because if someone was drowning, the robots would get wet and malfunction and probably drown too.

If now 1/3 of the cars are not going to be around anymore, and people had to ride bikes everywhere, they might first be upset that they would have to use their energy and muscles instead of sitting and pushing a button with their foot. But they would probably have fun after a couple weeks when they got skinnier, because I hear a lot of adults talking about how much they weigh and about not eating certain foods like dessert and going on diets, which just means not eating certain foods like dessert. When you eat food, it can turn into fat or it can be used for energy. Riding a bike takes a lot more energy than pushing a button, and that energy comes from food, so people riding their bikes to work can eat dessert every time they go to work! Also if the weather was really good one morning, they would feel really good to be out where the sun can reach them and the wind can blow, which feels nice. People in cars would have to roll down their windows, but they still can’t get the wind to blow on their legs unless they cut a hole or installed a tiny window down there which they would also have to roll down.

Here is one scenario now if 1/3 of the cars disappeared. Chrysler's bankruptcy could just mean the factory workers can lay around at the beach instead of working!

Here is one scenario now if 1/3 of the cars disappeared. Chrysler's bankruptcy could just mean the factory workers can lay around at the beach instead of working!

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Launching rockets to hurt people

By Christopher | Published: April 28, 2009

I like making rockets and then launching them. They are fun to make because you have to be really smart when you make all the pieces and then put them together. For example, if you glue the fin on wrong, the rocket will go all sorts of weird ways, and it could even come right back at you! This is pretty dangerous. I don’t think North Korea, which is a little country over near China, are building some of their rockets right. Some of their rockets have even exploded right after takeoff! Then that is not a rocket that they launched, but a missile instead.

Me launching a rocket.

Me launching a rocket.

Missiles are like rockets expect that they explode after a certain time. Missiles are more dangerous than rockets because they could hurt people. Of course, if a rocket is going fast enough, it would also hurt someone if it went at them. I’m not sure why North Korea would want to build missiles or rockets that would hurt someone, as my parents said. The news also said that North Korea is looking to make uranium after they used up all their plutonium. I know that these elements are radioactive and are used to make nuclear powerplants and nuclear weapons. Nuclear powerplants seem like a good idea to make lots and lots of energy, but then there is radioactive leftovers that won’t ever disappear for millions of years! What if someone wanted to walk their dog at a really pretty park but then one day the government decided to put the radioactive leftovers in that park, then the person couldn’t walk their dog or they would get really sick and die! And nuclear weapons are not good either. Nuclear weapons are what destroyed entire cities in a matter of seconds. I can’t even imagine what would happen if my entire city was there one second and then another second it was totally gone. My Mom and Dad could be at work in different buildings, and I could be at school, and my cats could be at home, and we could all be working or learning or looking out the window and then suddenly not exist anymore.

My parents said North Korea tried to launch their rocket but they haven’t gotten it to work. Since their rockets are very big, they cannot take their fins off and on to adjust them very easily. They are probably welded on and very heavy making it so that machines have to help. I hope that they don’t figure out how to launch the rockets though, or if they do, that they just go straight up into outter space and leave the atmosphere and just keep going away from Earth forever. They might hit a planet or something, but because the planets are very far away it would take a long long time to do that, possibly millions of year, which is not very scary, because the sun will also die in millions of years and that is completely natural. We just have to make the most of what we have before a million years, which is a lot of time to take a walk in a park everyday, so much that you might get bored of taking a walk every day!

People and a kitty awake, wondering about a Dangerous Missile.

People and a kitty awake, wondering about a Dangerous Missile.

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