Pirates look really cool in the movies, but I think Real Life Pirates are probably lonely and misunderstood, like teenagers supposedly are. Maybe that is how all the Real Life Pirates started out, as teenagers, and then they became misunderstood and looked for ways to express their feelings and started carving ladders and welding grappling hooks, like how sad artists paint paintings and lonely writers write novels. Maybe right after they climb up their ladders, or pull themselves over the side with rope, right when they set foot on the foreign deck, maybe then they try to explain their life stories to the sailors, to someone new who comes from a different way of life and might be able to share sympathy. But of course the pirates are speaking in a different language and the sailors get really frightened and start shooting and yelling, and the pirates have to duck behind crates and there are smoke and explosions. This is probably the part you would see in movies, the part after the pirates try to explain themselves and the sailors run around with guns and scared faces.
I guess Real Life Pirates have pretty bad lives because they do not live in a country where there are laws and police and courts. Also there are probably not any supermarkets to get fresh produce like lettuce or apples because if there was one, people would come and take all the lettuce and apples and no one would stop them because there are no laws or police or courts, and they could just hide in a basement with them and people would forget about whoever it was that stole the lettuce and apples, because someone else would be taking carrots and tomatoes down the street at a different supermarket. Without fresh produce and vegetables, it is probably really hard to have a baby and raise the baby into a child and raise the child into an adult. The whole time they would be like, “Mommy, I’m hungry. Why don’t we have any apples or carrots or tomatoes to eat?” which could be really sad for the mother and also probably annoying because children can get annoying. Then because it is so hard to raise babies and children, a lot of people probably don’t have any. And because there aren’t a lot of babies and children, there are probably not a lot of people after this happens for 20 years, which is how long the pirate country has not had laws or police or courts. Without all these people in existence, walking around and talking in pirate country, Real Life Pirates would get lonely.
Lonely pirates would seek excitement and companions. This is probably why they take up pirating and go around on the high seas with ladders and grappling hooks that they made. I bet the pirates who have the coolest ladders are probably the most popular and have a lot of friends. Then someone shows up with a pointy grappling hook and they’re all like, “Wow, nice grappling hook!” and they learn to make grappling hooks. Also this would explain why pirates have parrots, because pirates’ parrots are like kittens to older ladies who live by themselves. I’m not sure if Real Life Pirates have parrots though, because in any pictures of Real Life Pirates, like when they got captured, I have not seen any parrots. I bet when Real Life Pirates get captured they whisper to their parrot to fly away, and it’s probably really emotional for the pirate and the parrot.
Pirates sit around and wait for ships to drive by. It might get boring waiting for ships to go by, which probably doesn’t help the pirates’ loneliness, being out in the middle of the ocean and surrounded only by water. But at least they have pirate friends. Then when they finally see a little dot on the horizon (a ship coming by) they get really excited and anxious. It’s probably really intense right at that moment, when they aren’t sure if the sailors on the ship will understand them and communicate with them. Then when the ship finally gets close they throw their ladders and grappling hooks at the ship. When they’re climbing up the sailors probably start freaking out and start shooting, and then the pirates start freaking out and start shooting. I bet it’s real scary right at that moment, but maybe it is better than loneliness?